Better Man

Love is a powerful force that can bring people together, but it can also expose fundamental differences in desires and values. Such is the case with Lamar and Stacy, a couple who have been dating for three years but find themselves at odds when it comes to the prospect of marriage. Stacy is eager to tie the knot, while Lamar, from the beginning of their relationship, has adamantly expressed his disinterest in marriage, citing his religious beliefs as the foundation for his stance. In this blog post, we will explore their conflicting views, analyze whether Lamar is at fault for not wanting to marry Stacy, nd offer advice to help them navigate this challenging situation.

Love, Marriage and Religion

Lamar's perspective on marriage is rooted in his faith and the teachings of his pastor. He believes that remaining single is a more virtuous path, as he interprets his faith to suggest that marriage can distract from one's spiritual journey. To support his stance, Lamar passionately recites a verse from Corinthians 7:29, which emphasizes the temporary nature of worldly relationships. From Lamar's perspective, he believes he is adhering to his faith's teachings by choosing singleness over marriage.

On the other hand, Stacy has a different outlook on marriage. She sees it as a natural progression of their loving relationship and believes that Lamar's views on the matter may change over time. Her desire for marriage is deeply rooted in her personal values and expectations for a long-term commitment. Stacy has invested three years of her life into this relationship and hopes that Lamar will eventually come around to the idea of marriage. The conflict arises from the fundamental difference in desires between Lamar and Stacy. Lamar has been consistent in his stance from the beginning of their relationship, making it clear that marriage is not in his plans. Stacy, however, believes that love can conquer all and that Lamar will eventually change his mind. The question now is, who is right in this situation?

Analyzing the Situation

In this complex situation, it is important to consider both perspectives. Lamar cannot be faulted for his honesty from the outset of their relationship. He made it clear that marriage was not on his agenda, and Stacy chose to continue the relationship despite this knowledge. Lamar's commitment to his beliefs and his desire to stay true to his faith should be respected.

Stacy, on the other hand, should also be respected for her desire for marriage. However, it is crucial for her to recognize that Lamar's views are deeply ingrained and may not change. It's unfair to expect someone to alter their fundamental beliefs, especially when they have been forthcoming about them. The fact that Stacy's plans differ from Lamar's should prompt a serious conversation between them.

Advice for Stacy and Lamar

  1. Open and Honest Communication: Stacy and Lamar should have a deep and respectful conversation about their desires and values. They should listen to each other's viewpoints without judgment and try to find common ground.
  2. Consider Compromise: While it may be challenging, both should consider whether there is a middle ground that can satisfy both their desires. Is there a way to maintain their loving relationship without marriage?
  3. Individual Happiness: Stacy should reflect on her own happiness and whether she can be content with Lamar's decision not to marry. Lamar should also consider whether he can accommodate Stacy's desire without compromising his core beliefs.
  4. Seek Guidance: They may benefit from seeking guidance from a neutral third party, such as a relationship counselor or a trusted friend who can provide perspective and mediation.
  5. Making the Tough Decision: If after open communication, compromise attempts, and reflection, they still cannot reconcile their differences, they may need to make the difficult decision to part ways. It's essential for both of them to find partners who share their life goals and values.

In conclusion, love can be a beautiful and transformative force, but it cannot erase fundamental differences in desires and values. Lamar and Stacy find themselves at a crossroads, torn between their love for each other and their opposing views on marriage. Ultimately, the decision they make should prioritize their individual happiness and spiritual well-being.


  1. How do you think Lamar's interpretation of the Bible's view on marriage has affected his perspective on commitment?
  2. Is it possible for Stacy and Lamar to find a compromise that satisfies both their desires for the future?
  3. What role does faith play in shaping individuals' views on marriage and commitment?
  4. How important is it for couples to share similar long-term goals and values, such as marriage, for a successful relationship?
  5. Can love truly conquer all, or are there situations where fundamental differences in desires become insurmountable obstacles in a relationship?